Some Women Have It, Some Don’t
Edgy commentary With Emphasis on Why Respect Is Earned, Not Demanded!
*Loraine Osgood glanced at the friends seated across the table and sighed inwardly, as another man gave her the brush off for the umpteenth time. Looking around the room she wondered why the men were deliberately ignoring her. “Stupid jerks,” she whispered. “Those idiots won’t give me the time of day. What’s up with that?” she said, fingering the buttons of her dress.
Five drinks later Loraine made a beehive to the restroom, where she bumped into a man she had spotted earlier. “Aw, don’t you men know the meaning of respect?” she asked, slurring her words. Caught off guard by the question, the man muttered “Do you?” After a long pause Loraine walked away without answering.
When Aretha Franklin clamored for R-E-S-P-E-C-T in 1967, men suddenly became aware of how they treated women. And 38 years and a thousand arguments later, women are still calling on men to respect them. Only now the rules have changed, and the only way women can get members of the opposite sex to hold them in high esteem, is by process of elimination. That simply means respect is earned, not automatically given as many women believe.
For example, ever notice that some women get the Hey Baby treatment while others receive the Ms. or Miss salutation regardless of age or race? In coming to grips with this issue, I’m convinced that when it comes to the “fairer sex,” men are more apt to admire women who are confident and carry themselves in a way that screams I RESPECT MYSELF.
As a woman I can easily tell if another woman respects herself, based on the way she talks, acts and dresses. If she feels she is worthy of distinction, no words are necessary, since her image speaks for itself. If on the other hand she is loud, disruptive and sloppy in appearance, a man’s opinion of her will take a dramatic nose dive.
Two contrasting examples of respect ideology are talk-show mogul Oprah Wimfrey and media poacher Paris Hilton. In one corner you have Oprah, oozing class and intellectual prowess, while reminding everyone why she is one of the world’s most influential women. In the adjacent corner is Paris; shallow, eager to display her body at every opportunity and hell bent on keeping her name in the press, at any and all cost. Now, realistically, who is more respected? Oprah who carries herself like a billionaire empress? Or Paris who associates braziness with style and class?
In writing this editorial, I am reminded of something a dear friend, Steve Lockett, once said. A man of impeccable taste whose ability to sense trouble is without peer, “Tale-tell Steve” is a purist in every sense of the word. Not one to sugar coat words, when Steve talks, everybody listens. So it came as no surprise when he said that there are two types of women, the ones a man is proud to be seen with and respects. And the other is the woman who doesn’t feel worthy of respect, so men tend to discard her like day old bread. Not surprisingly, some readers may view Steve’s comments as those of a male chauvinist from a bygone era, but there is a tinge of truth in his verbal tirade.
Clearly, it’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t think much of themselves. Granted, this applies to either sex, but since we’re talking about women we will limit our conversation to that gender. Okay back to the article. To reiterate, if a woman feels that she is a hapless zero, why should anyone respect her, when she doesn’t respect herself? To paraphrase Steve, it just goes to show you that some women have it and some don’t.
Lastly, as women let’s remind ourselves that if you feel you are not getting the respect you deserve, take a long hard look at yourself and ask yourself the following questions: Are you acting, talking, dressing and behaving in a way that commands respect? Or does your entire demeanor cry out “DON’T CARE” “DON’T WANNA CARE” and “AIN’T NEVER GONNA CARE?” The choice is yours.
* Not her real name
Mystery Shopping Exposed: The Other Side Of The Hype
You’ve seen the ads touting how you can make a part time or even a full time income doing “mystery or secret shopping.” Some say you can make between $10 - $60 an hour or more. That is technically true. But it’s stretching the truth a bit. There’s another side of the story that most people neglect to mention. I believe everyone should know this side as well.
According to Mystery Shopping Providers Association website: Mystery Shopping is the practice of using trained shoppers to anonymously evaluate customer service, operations, employee integrity, merchandising, and product quality. You can mystery shop for practically any service or product you can think of.
First and foremost, there is NO need to pay for mystery shopping information. Mystery shopping information is available for FREE online. You just have to know where to find it.
Mystery shopping on any sort of regular basis is really for stay at home Moms, people who have plenty of spare time or someone with an extremely flexible schedule. Lots of notifications are for “emergency” or “urgent” shops which may need you to do it the very next day.
You MUST have internet access. You also must be intelligent. You will need to write out your reports and you have to be able to articulate your observations well.
The hardest part about getting an assignment is to get that FIRST one. The trick to getting selected is to SELL YOURSELF in your reply.
With many shops you must pay out of your own pocket first then wait to be reimbursed. That’s not always the case, but it’s quite common. Many companies pay you the following month and it can take up to 45 days. So if you need the money you’re spending to do a mystery shop to pay the bills, DON’T do it.
The most time you will spend associated with a mystery shop is in filling out the report/survey afterwards. It will take you over an hour to complete the survey if you are just starting out. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not being truthful. Something very important that gets conveniently left out is if you don’t fill out the survey ‘correctly,’ your report may be rejected and you will NOT get paid.
Those stories about people making over $7,000 in a month doing mystery shops are anecdotes. They are few and far between. The truth is that you will earn far less. It is true that you can make $10 - $60 an hour doing mystery shopping. But…you may not get more than one job a week or a month for that matter. The reality is that you might make between $50 - $100 a month when you first start out. If you stick with it, you can make several hundred dollars a month or more by doing multiple shops. To make any decent money, you’ll need to do multiple shops in a day. And the longer you stay with it, the more money you’ll be able to make.
You’ve heard all the hype, now you have the other side of the story. You now know what to expect going in. And you won’t have to learn through the school of hard knocks like so many others have.
20 Common Pregnancy Questions & Answers
1. How much weight should I expect to gain during pregnancy? Most women with a normal body mass index gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Women who are obese are advised to gain less weight. On the other hand, women who are underweight may gain up to 40 pounds. Women who gain excessive weight during pregnancy should see a dietitian. (click here to determine your bmi). 2. When do I first need to see a doctor? A first prenatal visit should take place within the first trimester. If a woman is uncertain about the date of her last menstrual period, it is especially important to schedule an ultrasound appointment to accurately determine gestational dates. At the first doctor visit, a comprehensive medical history will be taken to assess any obstetrical risks and special medical needs of a patient. Simple blood work that is usually done at the first office visit includes ABO and Rh blood typing, screening for anemia, immunity to rubella, and testing for viral hepatitis and HIV. A pelvic exam, pap smear, chlamydia and gonorrhea test is also usually performed at the first visit. Urinalysis, blood pressure and weight checks, fundal height measurement and fetal heart auscultation are performed routinely at each office visit. 3. Should I seek care from a midwife or doctor? This is a personal decision. Typically, complicated pregnancies (i.e., women who have certain medical conditions, smoke, have a history of miscarriages, past c-section, or have other risk factors for a complicated pregnancy) require the care of a physician. Midwives are an option for normal, uncomplicated pregnancies that do not require advanced care. Either way, a woman should seek routine prenatal care by a qualified health care provider. 4. Can I consume caffeine during pregnancy? Caffeine in moderate amounts is probably safe in pregnancy. 5. Can I use artificial sweeteners? Saccharin containing products should be avoided during pregnancy. Saccharin can cross the placenta and enter the fetal tissue. 6. Why have I been told to avoid cats during pregnancy? Cats can carry bacteria called Toxoplasma, which can be harmful to the developing fetus. Women should avoid changing a cat’s litter box since Toxoplasma can be found in the cat’s feces. You should discuss with your health care provider specific precautions that you need to take to avoid infection caused by Toxoplasma. Poorly cooked meats, seafood and unpasteurized milk can also be contaminated with Toxoplasma. 7. What is gestational diabetes? Some women develop diabetes during pregnancy. Most of the time, it will resolve after pregnancy. However, these women are at a higher risk of developing diabetes in later life. 8. How do I know if I have gestational diabetes? Late in the second trimester, a one hour glucola test is performed. If this is number is elevated, a women will undergo another test called a three hour glucose tolerance test. A woman should discuss her risks of developing gestational diabetes and this test with her health care provider. 9. Are there any foods that I should avoid during pregnancy? Canned tuna fish and farmed salmon should be eaten in moderation. Tuna steaks, swordfish, shark and king mackerel should be avoided because they can contain high levels of mercury, which can harm the fetus. Raw fish and shellfish should be avoided because they can be infected with parasites and Norwalk-like viruses. 10. Is aspirin safe to use in pregnancy? Aspirin is not safe to use during pregnancy. Aspirin is a class D medication meaning that it may cause harm to the fetus. 11. Is air travel safe during pregnancy? Air travel is thought to be safe until about 8 months of gestation. Pregnancy is a hypercoaguable state, which means that women who are pregnant are at a greater risk of developing blood clots. For this reason, pregnant women should take stretch breaks each hour when driving on long trips or flights. 12. Are over the counter cold medications safe to take in pregnancy? Many over the counter medications are not safe to use in pregnancy. Pregnant women should consult their health care provider before trying any over the counter medication. 13. Can I use hair dye? It is generally recommended to avoid hair dye during the first trimester. 14. Can I work during pregnancy? Work limitations are unique to the individual and her job. Many healthy women choose to work throughout their entire pregnancy, until the moment they go into labor. A woman should discuss her specific work limitations and special medical needs with her health care provider. General work restrictions include avoidance of heavy lifting, exposure to chemicals, prolonged standing and extremes of temperatures. 15. What birth defects are screened for in prenatal care? An ultrasound can assess abnormalities of the spinal cord and organs like the heart and kidneys. There are blood tests available to screen for neural tube defects and chromosomal disorders (like Down Syndrome). Women who are at an increased risk for chromosomal disorders may be offered amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling. Remember, that no test can guarantee that a baby will be born in perfect health. It is important that women who have a family history of congenital diseases disclose this information to their physician so that special care can be given to this matter. 16. Can I continue to have sex while I’m pregnant? Yes. However, if a woman has had vaginal bleeding, history of miscarriages, or other special situations, she may be advised to abstain from sex by her health care provider. A woman must take special care to protect her self from sexually transmitted diseases. Some sexually transmitted disease can cause birth defects in the developing fetus. 17. Can I have an occasional glass of wine during pregnancy? It is recommended to avoid all alcoholic containing beverages, tobacco use and drug use throughout pregnancy. 18. What if I get chicken pox during pregnancy? A woman who has not developed immunity to chicken pox infection (caused by the varicella virus) should consider becoming vaccinated before pregnancy. It is generally advised that she then wait one month before becoming pregnant after receiving the vaccine. If a woman develops chicken pox during the first trimester or early second trimester of her pregnancy, her fetus is at risk of developing the congenital varicella syndrome. The risk of developing this syndrome is estimated to be 0.4% for infection during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy and 2.0% for infection occurring 13-20 weeks of pregnancy. 19. How can I figure out my due date by using my last menstrual period? Go to www.askmd.org and click on the box on the left hand side named ‘health calculators.’ Browse the pregnancy calculators. 20. Can I exercise during pregnancy? Yes, pregnant women should strive for 30 minutes of moderate exercise each day. Many women may need to modify their exercise routines to avoid uncomfortable positions and overheating. It is necessary to drink sufficient amounts of water to avoid dehydration
Summer styles: stick to the basics
For this summer there are many different styles such as cropped pants, tunics, prints etc. But, does that mean that you must follow those trends? Of course, not! There are always basic styles that never go out of mode. Let’s face it, not everyone looks excellent dressed in the latest fashion trend. Have you ever looked at an old picture and thought to yourself: What was I thinking when I wore that? That is exactly my point. Although, there is nothing wrong with buying some pieces for a refreshed new look there is simply no need for you to go gaga over trends. An important factor in fashion is not only how you look but, how you feel. It makes sense! When you feel good about yourself the confidence projects externally making you look ten times better. Here is a list of summer basics that transcend time:
White colored clothing does not only give you a fresh look but, it also helps you feel fresh during the warm summer days.
Linen fabrics give you a sophisticated look without feeling overheated.
Summer dresses are typically made of light airy fabrics which give you a flirty look and a comfy sensation.
When there is a heat wave nothing will make you feel more comfortable than the classic short pants. They come in a variety of lengths from short-shorts, knee length and even the cropped or Capri pants. Select the one that best fits your style.
Jeans are always in style. Pair them up with sandals and a short-sleeve top and you are ready to go.
Khaki pants just happen to look great paired up with a white tank top, blouse, cami etc.
During the summer do not be afraid to use brighter colored clothing they go with your mood and the weather.
Just like jeans skirts are always in style. They also come in a variety of lengths (short to long) and styles (form fitted to loose fitting).
Just let your feet breathe by wearing sandals, slides, thong etc.
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Pregnancy Symptoms
There are many early signs that you may be pregnant. The obvious one is a late period but this can be caused by a number of things, an excessive weight gain or loss, a change in birth control methods, or just an imbalance of hormones.
Nausea and vomiting, commonly known as morning sickness, will last for the first 2-8 weeks of gestation. Though its common name is a little misleading, as it can occur throughout the day, not just in the morning. There isn’t actually any known reason as to why women go through this nausea and little is known on preventing it. Women differ in how they deal with it. Some women find that a cup of tea and a ginger biscuit in the morning help, others find acupressure and massage can help. It’s all about finding what works for you best.
Fatigue is another common symptom in the earlier weeks. This is due to the fact that your body is going through some major hormonal changes. And also due to the increased amount of progesterone going round your body, your temperature will increase leading you to feel sluggish.
Sensitivity to tastes and smells can also occur. Foods that you once enjoyed can now leave you feeling nauseous.
The areola (the area around the nipple) will darken during pregnancy. Though this can happen because of a hormonal imbalance if you’re not pregnant
You may start feeling faint or dizzy if you stand still for too long. This is because as your uterus grows it can put pressure on the major arteries in your legs causing the blood supply to slow making you feel light headed. Also eating infrequently can lower your blood sugar which is a vital nutrient to the growing baby.
With your uterus swelling, this puts pressure onto your bladder making you feel like needing a wee more frequently. Most woman feel this a week or two after becoming pregnant.
The hormones during pregnancy slow down your bowel movements. This gives your body more time to get nutrients out of your food, thus causing constipation. Unfortunately this will happen all the way through pregnancy and in most cases get worse as the pregnancy progresses. Making sure you eat a healthy diet full of fibre and nutrients can help ease the discomfort.
Be The Parent
“No! No! It’s MINE!” my two year old screamed as I chased around her around the room for the remote control. A few minutes later I was negotiating with her for a bottle of ketchup at the dinner table. And before bedtime, we watched a series of three Veggie Tales videos over and over again until both of us were exhausted for the night. After my daughter fell asleep, I began to mull over in my mind the events of the day. Was my two year old controlling my life? Ha! She sure was. But WHY? Wasn’t I the parent? That’s when I really began to do some soul-searching. I’d seen way too many parents of young children running themselves ragged to appease their children in every way. Giving in to each request was not something I’d planned on, but had just become the easy way out. I knew what I’d have to do. I’d have to set rules and limits and follow through with them, and get this…ALL the time! Not having had much practice at this, I knew I was going to be in for a treat once I began to implement it. So the next morning, my little one stumbled out of bed and demanded a small bag of fruit juice snacks for breakfast. I rolled my eyes. Not the snacks for breakfast again! I was going to have to make a wise choice and serve her something nutritious instead…eggs and oatmeal maybe? “No! No! No eggs! CHEWIES!” my daughter screamed. By the time I had adamantly refused the second time around, she was on the floor pouncing and flinging herself all over the place. “Just be calm” I told myself. “She’ll figure out soon enough that you aren’t going to budge.” And she did. And she stood up, sat at the table, and ate eggs and oatmeal.
How easy was that!
Being the parent has become a whole lot easier now that I’ve realized the importance of setting limits. Setting limits is not an overnight process. It takes some time. I am aware that there will be plenty of mornings awaiting me when I will be faced with new and different challenges. But you know what the best part of this journey is?
Being the parent.
– Demetria Zinga is the founder and owner of www.faith-media.com, a technology and consulting firm which specializes in web design and hosting, graphics and print designs, internet marketing, and e-training. She is also the founder of www.christianladies.net, an interactive ezine, blog, and podcast for Christian women.
Find Out About Fashion Guru Cavalli
Roberto Cavalli was born on November 15th, 1940 in Italy. He came from a modest family with strong artistic talents and traditions. His grandfather had been an impressionist painter, his mother a tailor .
Cavalli began his career as a young student. Himself and his friend invented, experimented and designed. His first revolutionary creation was a process of printing on light-weight leather. His print house was a cross between a craftsman’s workshop and an artist’s studio. He was able to accomplish this because of his detailed fabric research and his continuous experimenting with different technologies. Eventually Cavalli patented the process of printing on leather. Over the next ten years he created what’s known as “patchwork” or “patch quilt” a result of sewing together odd pieces of leather together. During the 1970’s Roberto Cavalli gained international recognition, This was the true beginning of his career.
In 1972 Roberto Cavalli showed his first collection in the historic White Room of Palazzo Pitti in Florence which led to a real scandal. On the catwalk his models were wearing patchwork on denim. Denim was a fabric that was highly disregarded by the straight-laced. A scorpio true to heart, Cavalli simply refused to bow to the dictatorship of the prevailing fashion. Rather he chose to run as an outsider defending his creativity all the way.
In the early 1990s Roberto Cavalli with the assistance of his wife Eva Duringer, relaunched his challenge to the fashion system. He took his catwalk extravaganza to MilanoCollezioni. Over the years he has expanded and as well as his Womenswear collection, new lines have been launched: Menswear, Just Cavalli a line for youngsters, Underwear, Class which is a knitwear collection, Freedom his casual line, Eyewear, Timewear, Angels for children 4-14) and Homewear.
An inspiration to the international jet-set, Roberto Cavalli is eclectic, social and ironic by nature, as a designer he sets himself apart through his natural vivaciousness and extreme cordiality, as well as his proverbial hospitality. He loves to surround himself with friends to celebrate not only his successes but even the smallest occasion: He is known for his brilliant career and as equally as well for his spectacular parties
Roberto Cavalli is a mainstay among the famous international designers. He continues to enjoy and have a blast each and every day. He stated recently “I’ve been running after success my whole life. It took me 35 years but I finally caught it and I’m happy now.” In today’s world everyone knows his name! His fashions are known for their raucous elegance, ridiculous embellishment, and shameless sexiness. Cavalli feels that too many designers were designing into the mold of sellable. Roberto Cavalli never fell into that trap, he consistently and continuously designed outside the box. Cavalli says “Every day I go to work to create what I think of as a form of art, but art that only comes to life when it is worn by a woman at her strongest moment, when she is feeling free, in love with her life and her self.” We an expect to see Cavalli’s designs continue to hit the catwalk. Visit Robert Cavalli’s Official Fashion Site http://www.robertocavalli.it/ Moda Italia http://www.modaitalia.net/robertocavalli/indexen.shtml .
Beauty Comes From Within
Since real beauty comes from within, it’s important that your beauty products bring out your best natural qualities. Natural beauty product reviews can help you choose which products are best suited to your own individual needs.
One popular type of natural beauty product is stretch mark removal cream. Since stretch marks are pretty common–their causes range from pregnancy to body building–a lot of people can be helped by a natural, effective treatment for them. While reading natural beauty product reviews, I noticed that the best stretch mark remedies contain high amounts of Emu Oil, Aloe Vera Gel, Collagen, Elastin and Vitamin E. When these key ingredients are combined in a highly concentrated cream, they can not only help reduce stretch marks you already have, but actually help prevent new ones from forming!
One of the most helpful things about natural beauty product reviews is that they tell you about the ingredients in the best beauty products out there. Whenever you’re looking for skin treatments–whether it’s cellulite cream, spider vein therapy, sunless tanning or stretch mark removal–you want to make sure that the ingredients are safe and actually make your skin look better, not worse. What’s the point of diminishing stretch marks if the skin around them becomes red and irritated? Natural beauty products tend to be safer, because they don’t include a lot of harsh chemicals in their ingredients.
If you’re fair skinned like I am, you know how hard it can be to enjoy the great outdoors. There’s nothing unusual about stretch marks or cellulite or spider veins. They are the natural effects of having bodies that grow and change. Using natural, high quality products to safely improve your skin’s appearance can help you feel less self-conscious at the beach or in the bedroom.
Then your natural, individual beauty can shine through!
Diamond Hoop Earrings: The Diva’s Choice
Men grow cold as girls grow old And we all lose our charms in the end But square-cut or pear-shaped These rocks don’t lose their shape Diamonds are a girl’s best friend
– from the movie “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”
Diamond hoop earrings are perfectly popular these days, thanks to young pop divas like Jennifer Lopez or J-Lo, hiphop diva extraordinaire. J-Lo is also known for spreading the trend of the chandelier earring, and other cascading-style ear ornaments.
Now take another diva and examine her choice of jewelry. We’re talking about actress Elizabeth Taylor and her special fondness for diamonds. When she was dubbed a Dame of the British Empire, the nation held a “black tie and diamonds” event, to commemorate her love for that specific precious stone. Diamond hoop earrings are part of Miss Taylor’s not inconsiderable jewelry collection. Take hoop earrings up another level and what do you get? Precious stones set into the hoops. What precious stone is considered the most popular, the most prestigious, and the most in-demand throughout the ages? Of course, it is the diamond.
Diamonds are formed over a period of a billion or more years deep within the Earth’s crust - about 90 miles deep - and is pushed to the surface by volcanoes. Most diamonds are found in volcanic rock called kimberlite, or in the sea after having been carried away by rivers when they were pushed to the surface.
Hoops, for their part, come in a variety of thicknesses and sizes. Sometimes they are so fragile as to create cascading earring designs, and at other times they are so thick that you can set stones and other materials into them. Hoop earrings used to be a favorite jewelry style among ancient Central and South American tribes, at a time when gold flowed freely and primarily held only decorative value.
Combine the youthful appeal of hoop earrings and the distinguished status of the diamond and you’ll have an entrancing diamond hoop earring. A small, thick hoop earring made of fine silver or gold may be studded with diamonds. Conversely, a hoop earring may also host even just one diamond, snugly fitted into its metal niche. Diamond hoop earrings are a unique design, pursued and appreciated for their earthly elegance.